And I do not, repeat do NOT show signs of dementia. I’m just old.

Most of us are at the age where our annual physical includes a quick-and-dirty mental acuity test. Draw a clock showing 11:15. Remember these three words: teacher, television, bandage. Of course now you must think of nothing but those three words for the next 20 minutes or you will flunk , but you have not a clue what the doctor told you after giving the assignment. I should focus on….something? he advises. And also be sure to… huh? But this I know: teacher, um, television, bandage.

Upon arrival, I asked if it would be okay for my sister to be present for the evaluation, and he replied that yes, she absolutely must be there, presumably because my brain will be otherwise engaged with the doctor’s instructions and yes, my very own three words. Everything else will be outsourced and uploaded into her brain.

The purpose of this screening was to determine whether or not a more comprehensive test was called for. I’m delighted to report that in my case it was not.

Pssst: in case you have such a screening pending, here are some of the “answers,” I mean, what to expect. Count backwards from 100 by seven. Draw these interlocking shapes exactly the way I did. Well, in no universe is that gonna happen. The doctor possesses an architect’s even, measured, actually quite beautiful handwriting whereas I… do not. Nothing to do with Parkinson’s; I never did. And here are some more test answers:,Describe what’s happening in this drawing. The aforementioned clock exercise, again with the gorgeous handwriting. Followed by, uh huh, the three little words.

Tip: the one exercise you can practice, as I recall, is the clock. In the week preceding the test, I went around quizzing myself in my head: 7:35 – big hand on the seven, little hand also on the seven. That doesn’t sound right. Have I given myself another trick question?

I’ll confess to some embarrassment about certain “behaviors” on my part in the weeks leading up to the screening. To wit: driving those near and dear to me crazy with my whining about what I believed was my mental deterioration that had to be worse than their complaints which I now suspect are the same as mine, i.e. the signs of normal aging. So what gave me the right to complain more than they did, as was the case? Ohhh, I get it. I have Parkinson’s and I can justify my extra grousing by the not unrealistic concern about Parkinson’s – induced cognitive decline. That’s my rationale and I’m sticking to it.

If you have such a screening coming up, I didn’t mean to scare you. It was actually almost kinda fun.

Good luck!

PS. If you’re enjoying my blog, could you please forward it to others who might like it? I’d so appreciate your support in helping me reach a wider audience. Thank you!

Recommendation:

Still, a documentary about everyone’s favorite Parky, Michael J. Fox. What a guy, and how fortunate are we to have him as our spokesman, advocate and “brand ambassador.”

We love you, Michael!