I recently posted a request asking the parkinsonsphere how they’d like to be treated. Several commented”I am not my illness.” Well guess what folks, I’m throwing in the towel and stating, if not proudly but with resignation and conviction “ I am my illness.”

If I were not, would I be:

Organizing the medication section of my linen closet…. again

Considering whether or not to participate in a program/ study that will take up five hours a week of my valuable time that I could have spent doing, well, the first thing that comes to mind is reading, lying prone, sore muscles soothed by a heating pad.

Attending a talk on vision changes in PD

Viewing a horror movie, I mean, a talk on dementia in PD, the very day after vision talk

Here are the components of a typical week in this body:

Dancing for Parkinson’s

The tremble clefs- a chorus for PwPs- people with Parkinson’s

Yoga for PwPs

Table tennis for PwP

Rock Steady Boxing for, well, you know

PD webinar on something or other

Work on promoting self – blog, podcast, etc

Maintain breathing help with devices – twice daily and singing as I go through my day (builds throat muscles)

Doctor’s appointment, nearly one per week. Not including physician assistants, I see a total of eight physicians. Add in physician assistants and physicial therapists (five more), I have in total thirteen providers. That’s the status quo as of right now.. Who knows what, paraphrasing Dorothy Parker, fresh health hell will be visited on me tomorrow.

And yet, here’s the weird thing: if you were to ask me if I were healthy I’d probably reply “Yeah, pretty much.” Because I equate “being sick” with that crappy all over, bodily aching, can’t-get-out-of-bed malaise, as with a cold or flu . I feel pain yes, sometimes enough that I do take to my bed, but I am mostly out and about, just like, and pretending to be a healthy person.

At this very moment, it’s 7:00 am, I just woke up and my legs ache, so out comes the heating pad. But I will go to boxing in a little while, after which a few friends will come over to critique my “talk,” the one I’ve been giving about my PD life at senior housing communities. So I guess prepare talks on PD for “older people” must go on the list.

Parkinson’s Event/program something or other that I don’t yet know about. But there’s sure to be one a week. At least.

Ditto, some medical appointment or other.

Must I take up plyometrics, which someone sent me a video about and which is defined as “exercises that involve rapid, explosive movements thatt utilize the stretch-shortening cycle of the muscles?” My illness is a hungry beast. Give her one yoga class and she’ll ask for an hour of wall climbing.

Does all I’ve described sound like the life of a healthy person? No, but it does sound like the day-to- day of an old person, to which I cop.

I guess we’re all just trying to stay as healthy as we as can; it’s just that sometimes trying is, well, trying.

Stay healthy, my friends.

Parky Conversations, a blog about Parkinson’s