First thing to go was the area rugs. Wha??? You mean those beautiful 4×6 floor adornments that I schlepped from Marrakech all the way home with a stop in Lisbon, storing them overnight at the airport so I wouldn’t have to pay a duty on what the Portuguese authorities thought I would be doing: selling them in Portugal?

Now what? I’m not about to put down carpeting, and the realization dawns on me that the responsibility for elder-proofing my home resides with me and not with the floor. I tell this to a commiserating friend who acknowledges that we are no longer allowed to saunter, jog, prance, amble or even tip-toe across the room in… socks. Yes, the other side of the hazard equation is stocking feet. As in, absolutely verboten due to the potential for an older person – that would be me – to take a tumble on the slippery surface.

We love our hardwood floors, don’t we? Who knew that these lovingly polished home enhancements would turn into a MAJOR HEALTH HAZARD? I’m not just talking Parky people; it’s all of you over, what, 65? Sixty one and three quarters? I’m not sure of the cutoff but there will come a point in your life when your adult child turns to you, as did mine, and says, not so sweetly, “Mom, you’re gonna kill yourself with these rugs.” “But, but,” I sputter. They have pads underneath.” “Out!” He replies.

A sympathetic pal showed up with slipper- socks featuring tiny rubber grippers on the bottom. Like they have on hospital socks! Which I LOVE. They’re just the right weight, and so easy-on, easy-off, especially when your middle-of-the-night feet aren’t sure if they need more heat or less. I am a socks-on, socks-off kind of gal, pretty much all night long.

I’ve been gifted many a pair over the years…and lost just as many to the Dryer Demon. Well, the good news is, I have a couple of hospital-bound friends who I’m sure will come through for me. Yay???? No, I made up the last part. I wouldn’t wish a trip to the hospital on anyone.

But I got a lucky break. Of my hip, that is.

It didn’t occur on my perilous floor though. I was chatting on the phone while strolling near a playground when my foot caught on …nothing. I went flying, and my hip went crack. (This was a few months ago and I’m almost fully healed,)

Still, sometimes one wishes to wear other types of socks, the cute kind with the little puppies romping across my ankles, or the black and orange ones l uncharacteristically succumbed to one Halloween. It’s annoying to put on shoes for a mere trip to the kitchen.

So the sock issue was compounded by the shoe issue. It was difficult to lean over with a broken hip to tie laces, in short, to put shoe on foot. A friend told me of a miracle product, the slip-on shoe. Mine are made by Kizik and they are a blessing. And they’re good-lookin.’ I’d wear them even if I didn’t have all these floor/sock/shoe issues.

So next time you’re admitted to the hospital, please don’t forget to bring your hospital socks home. I’ll be happy to take them off your hands, er, feet.

Recommendation:

Kizik

You know how you sometimes wish someone would invent a product that will make everyone’s life easier or more pleasant? I’m talking to you, future inventor of the bed toilet!

Maybe not as groundbreaking as the invention of the bed toilet (a Nobel for that designer!) I’d guess slip-on shoes (women’s dressy shoes don’t count) are high on most people’s life-enhancing product wish list.

Wait no more. They’ve arrived. There are many brands. I chose mine because they didn’t have laces and looked less sneaker-y than most. Found them on a random internet search.

Have a nice walk.